Purely Senorita's

Friday

2011-12-23T14:48:00.001+08:00

You dun think u deserve...when u know u do..you jus have to say...yes i deserve it..not i think i deserve it..it means 2 different things and it shows how remorseful or sincere for you to say such things....when you mean it....but again...maybe its jus me..i would choose to be as truthful to myself as possible...by words or actions...

Love is a beautiful thing....I jus treasure whatever that has been,is currently happening and what is gonna be for me....and thank you for being my friend..the One closes to my heart...and you bring in so many coincidence for me to see ,feel and appreciate everything....Thank you for loving me this way. cause u know how I feel....

I know there's a few things happening to myself that I feel calm and collected and focused ...N im not gonna give up to strive the best for myself and family....Being alone has its advantages...yes many of a times you think that you wish someone is der to hear you or for you to listen to but when you are single and alone you tend to reflect alot about life and if permitted by Him...you just wanna change things for the better...I do.

I jus wana thank those true friends who helped me and advised me about life...You didnt even know the story but you know what to say and how to say it...and I'm glad I've been reminded over again about how to manage things....Thank you...wah dah mcm speech day eh ..thank you here thank you der...lol

Friday is one of the best days of the week.....Was triggered last two days again and let it be the last of it all by the moment I saw things i shouldn't ...maybe one has forgotten what they had displayed in their previous status and coincidentally I saw it....n nothing else beats that status....nothing....all was spoken in jus one status..everything ...a status that I would remember my whole life..and that is a lesson learnt for me too.....and because of what I've seen and experienced...getting hurt again is the last thing I would like to happen....so i chose to let go of those feelings that very night with the tears i had....cause I fear it will be the downpour of me.thou I wont promise i wont cry again if emotions run high....but it will jus be my silent cry....n its not about pin pointing..its about Courage and Honesty...dats all I am..I was...thou may not be portrayed in the best of what should have been...but that's all I had to prove my heartfelts.....and from there not only those characters that I brought along with me but others as well which will make me a better person....

getting things out of my mind

2011-12-21T21:13:00.000+08:00

There are always things in your head that refuses to go off until sumthing else replace them...true...its not easy and until it happens.i have to keep on bersyukur...kadang kala susah nak ckp hati ni..lagi2 bila sorang...kadang2 geram tu datang dan pergi....geram...subhanallah...kadang rindu teramat sgt...kadang kala menyampah....apa arah tujuan aku selepas ini..When i was in the bathtub..yeah i used the bathtub der...haha..physically calm but mentally i duno ...mcm2 dalam kepala otak....bukan positive...negative pulak tu....but i really like it there for once i think its becors with jus family....never had ever travelled with jus us..bt we did and we enjoyed this time round...
A song was composed last week..will upload its lyrics here....i cant believe i did it ..but yes..i composed a song...naturally jus came into my head....and yes i sang it..muahaha..

was watching suria di cordoba...den i saw this scene of putra trying to read the verses of Quran den true enuf syaitan tried to whisper stuff in his ears....
Appreciation...Appreciate things alot...especially love songs...not sad songs...love songs...like im in love with songs now...i duno to whom i shall sing them to but yeah i did.tml gona meet nazira..ouh she is so gg to kill me....lol...jumper at her home town..great...

Sumtyms....u jus have to deal with it...deal with it...when anyone is in love,they alwAYS SEEMs to be at their highest point in life....strange how feelings are involved....so..yar.....when was the last time that feeling was der....everything seemed so beautiful?chest is hurting again..n its always on d left..da mcm citer suria di cordoba.....i will choose to forget things.and let it pass....cors d last thing i wana do is to get myself hurt again n again...and for now I leave it to You...

lasy day at kl

2011-12-20T10:26:00.001+08:00

for once i can say...i will miss kl thou been here for a few times already..had great moments with my family.jus d four of us.sumthing we hardly do..n when we did..we gave our all..im so proud of ibu this time.she did all of us proud..bein here in ascott has brought nothing but peace n serenity.alhamdulilah..n truthfully for once after prayera yest.i cried.n so was this morning..i dun wana go back to sg....appreciate n bersyukur sgt dpt holiday kat sini..maybe i shld migrate here.:)far from all that stress.IF ONLY la.lol..but life has to go on.me n bro had long chats about life n im glad to have him as my bro.always der for me.espeially in times of pain...he always wana be der for me..n i shall be here for u.hope u had d most enjoying moments here w fam..happy birthday bro.d one wish he watned dat he cldnt get thia time round was to go up klcc..imhappy here...:).will update more on what is happening.toodles.

creating a garden full of-sincerity

2011-12-16T07:11:00.000+08:00

geram sey.why cant ppl understand that when u do business u jus have to be on Time??does it take alot to b der n nt let others wai for u n reason was becors u forgot.im doing this as afavour to d company only becors i was free bt nt anymor.dats d irst n d last.ya.cors i gt a life and it aint business like...ive dine liasing many times.nnthat's shld be on d priority list...when interesting facts was found it calms d mind and create a mental image of what is d mystery..i Wasnt unlockin any mystery jus happened dat my gf found it out...n she told me..haha..anyways ppl had been pushing me back to do dancing.i dun think i need them to understand me for being me,bt i jus want them to appreciate n respect my decision in dancing...family is my priority n i mean d while gin gang of my uncles and aunts.everytime i get to see them i feel very happy."bahot kush"..yes i do n i cant wait for the next gathering.ready to shuffle w mum n aunts.hahahahaha....den comes my frenz.i have many "frenz" bt real true frens will be der all d time..all d time..for u...n i wana make up things for all d shit i say to others.truthfully u mitent noe what will happen to u for the words u said.they say dun point at ppl cors d test of them are pointing back.same goes for words.u have a sharp tongue it will cut u deep when it returns...sumone ever old me to be selfish and balance life.i agree w balancing life..b one shld nvr be selfish and grab hold of things jus becors u cant get them...i duno hw .it shld come naturally...nt made up....its nt selfish..wrong word to use.BUT its jus for me.nt for u...cors u will regret for being selfish.nno one thought us to be one..so i cant be dat....what i cld say is i love myself first before jumping into any gallows... n do it right.even if i make mistakes .it wont be d same ones that ive gone thru..insya allah.beautiful friday alhamdulilah....there's this song sat playing in my head m its malay.hahaha.its stuck der..kaoz...

Understand...that it is jus me...

2011-12-14T09:18:00.002+08:00

I do understand what you meant...every word ...i cant read other ppl's mind...bt my intentions were real...nt sure what others was bt mine yes...d first thing dat came into my mind...thou i dun deny others may have other intentions...i dun...n i dun wish too...m nt smart bt i didnt wipe off the possibilities and will always be on guard...aint the nana you thought u knew before...she jus aint..

It was only jus a dreamm...yeah it was.....i dreamt abt us,the wedding ,me wearing henna on my hand,trip to honeymoon and u hugging me from the back kissing my ears while im preparing breakfast for you....and me salam you saying," take care dear,I love you..." and having you to kiss me on the forehead and said,"i love you too baby," and before you leave ill say my prayers for your safety....
well dat's d least there cld be for us...in my dreams....

highway to hell

2011-12-14T09:15:00.000+08:00

yeah it erks me to hell...lol..no..started my regime today and guess what i forgotten to place music in my ears...so i sang this song in my mind....u noe when someones stops contacting the world its either they need alot of time alone and hide or they are too busy with love especially honeymoon period....for me...hmm..i dun really silence myself too often...lol..bt dats all i need now...nt becors of honeymoon period....bt i jus wana appreciate one person...that's me....d best thing i did for myself so far was losing 10 kg ...n that's it haha......itu pun with help of depression....i nvr thought depression could make me lose this much weight.....well i shld jus be thankful thou it isnt the best and right way but ya i have to keep going dont i.....alot of ppl commented on my picture that i lost weight..i did...a great achievement bt nt proud of the process thou...ppl say they miss me....bt i can tell everyone frankly....i miss myself even more....i wana be the laughing crazy blurry n fun person again...bt it takes time...n sumhw i feel the impact of this experience plus the age is catching up.....maturity builds...so is patience towards myself...so does the internal change in me....probably i would be more feminine than i used too??chey chey...lol....mcm faham....and this time learning to handle matters more appropriately....bt the most important is i cant love sumone else more than myself....i dun wana fall dat hard again.....only probably the point of death of my loved ones.....and future hubby maybe....this question i ask myself today..will i ever get married??will i ever meet sumone?if nt the same bt better? lol...answer...NTAH Allah saje yang tau...bt nw i would like to explore alot of things....and learn more things important to the needs in life and hereafter....bt the naturalist that i was with strangers is hmm i cld say not der yet .skali gone forever eh?lol...rabaks...hmm...seeing all those letters i received abt house and everything...haiz...i shall aint say more.will jus keep it with me till probably ive moved on....

sometimes i wonder

2011-12-13T23:21:00.001+08:00

sometimes i winder coincidentally why thi gs have to be v obvious...i dubo.i guess dats life..sumthings sumtyms are better left unsaid..n jus be felt.cors suntyms when things are said.d heart will be seen like a time machine dat can be blown into pieces.. i feel peaceful sumtyms nw.alhamdulilah.bt d yoyofied feelings thou.hard to fathom what d heart speaks nw.n sumtyms strange feelings. comes n goes.i wonder where this lead to.bt ill jus be bersyukur for nw..

suria

2011-12-11T14:24:00.001+08:00

everytime when i watch u alhamdulilah tenang fikiranku...mjalan cerita mu mungkin hanya rekaan semata2.tapi tunjuk ajar mu yg membuat diri ini sentiasa tenang.insya allah..take whayever u need.say whatever u want...onn e this heart has reached serenity..thank u my fren..ill remember ur words..n my jounrney starts today

excited for her

2011-12-11T01:06:00.001+08:00

helped a fren to gt to noe sumone fro fish and co.was exicted for her thruout our lunch time over there.wrote for her ,her no. on d surviette n true enuf dat guy knew.lol.alhamdulilah.i hope this marks a spark in her love life again..tk semestinya together bt if they are alhamdulilah.too early to say bt i hope this helps her to gt back on track at least as a fren..:)...sumthing to smile abt before gg to sleep tday.happy for her.

what else

2011-12-10T07:57:00.001+08:00

wat isit actually .u're looking for...was it becors u are jus curious to know what's gg on or whether ive tainted this blog w u... or whether ive done sumthing to my assumptions m get out of d crazy thinkin of u and her...?im putting them all aside.slowly.i have to.tooo nuch coincidence happens.i didny wana check anymore bt it jus triggered me to see whatsapp online timing almost jus a few minutes apart.at 5 am in d morning..do i have to see all these n gt myself hurt again??i dun want anymore.trust me.n why i asked u those qns so it will help me to move on.bt nothing was said so im letting things be..n sorry if i had said i missed u n all n it annoyed u...ill try to keep it within myself n this blog as well..ill try ...on my own two feet...

the one that got away....

2011-12-09T18:39:00.001+08:00

im no longee the muse to ur heart....i miss d one dat calls me baby n kiss n hug me when he sees me..i miss d one dat place his hands on my hips while he smelt my hair....i miss d one dat blast the music in his vehicle..n sang along tapi his fingers and foot to the beat.....i miss adouring u from far while u played ir drums n ur guitar...i miss seeing u down der while watching me dance on stage..i miss the times when i tot me how to drive a car...i miss d guy who smoked sheesha w me and gave pecks of kisses saying i love u......he is jus a memory now...u were roght bu my side...bt ur heart was as hard as stone...all iwanted was to get away..it hurts so much.bt i cldnt show..getting pissed off w u was d last thing i wanted to do..u've moved on..very fast..i knew everything u told me lately nt all are the truth.i knew u wana hide things from me..u hanged everything..removed evrything from ur heart....so fast..too fast...bt it didnt matter...d one dats hurirng is me mw..it aint u..nt anymore...im jus a piece of ur memory....

the thing about Pisces

2011-11-30T15:06:00.001+08:00

The thing about Pisces is that they dont like pretentious or fakeness....they as a water zodiac and the most sensitive one of all...they can sense so many things not jus fakeness....Jus that they are not good with words to express them objectively.bt they will try their very best to...bt the thing about pisces they care too much for their love ones..and at times too devoted that they can get out of hand...cors they can take in truth but they can nvr take in lies...there is nothing worth cheating for in the eyes of God...I know certain things I do is wrong...but im crystal clear from the bottom.to whom and why....lying to parents is d worst...bt im gonna make it d last insya allah...I only pray that my objective set is clear enough in my eyes and sincere from the bottom of my heart..It is failing again....n it will fail for the next 6 days only to be stronger for the whole of life time.....I will get up and be strong....Let it not fail and stop beating for what is worth is waiting ahead of me...I'll live for my family insya allah...and my frens are my pillar of support.alhamdulilah....let this be a lesson to all heartbroken women out der....love yourself more than anyone else...no matter what....b strong and be faithful cors Allah is always der for you and He knows your secrets the most..He will reward those who deserve..Alhamdulilah after writing this...I felt better...i hope it will stay calm without prejudice for others for the next few days...let me write a beautiful story when I come back...for what was worth to be remembered...and what it will be for the future...AMIN.....

What hurts the most

2011-11-29T15:25:00.001+08:00

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty houseThat don't bother meI can take a few tears now and then and just let ?em outI'm not afraid to cry every once in a while even thoughGoin' on with you gone still upsets meThere are days every now and again I pretend I'm okayBut that's not what gets meWhat hurts the mostWas being so closeAnd havin' so much to sayAnd watchin' you walk awayAnd never knowin'What could've beenAnd not seein' that lovin' youIs what I was tryin' to doIt's hard to deal with the pain of losin' you everywhere I goBut I'm doin' itIt's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm aloneStill harder gettin' up, gettin' dressed, livin' with this regret[From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/r/rascal-flatts-lyrics/what-hurts-the-most-lyrics.html]But I know if I could do it overI would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heartThat I left unspokenWhat hurts the mostIs being so closeAnd havin' so much to say(Much to say)And watchin' you walk awayAnd never knowin'What could've beenAnd not seein' that lovin' youIs what I was tryin' to do, ohOh yeahWhat hurts the mostWas being so closeAnd havin' so much to say(To say)And watchin' you walk awayAnd never knowin'What could've beenAnd not seein' that lovin' youIs what I was tryin' to doNot seein' that lovin' youThat's what I was trying to do, ooo

terlalu singkat masa kita

2011-11-28T00:36:00.001+08:00

tiap kali ku mendengar atau melihat sesuatu yg baik...tenang fikiran..even when i thought of him...its jus in d mind..alhamdulilah..inikah sesuatu perubahan buat diriku...? sesungguhnya aku ini egoist,bongkak,memikirkan hal ehwal yg tidak penting pada diriku..insya allah...gembira rase hati bila disisi keluarga yg tersayang.ya tuhan.perbaikila diri ini...dgn seadanya.setelah hajat pertama ini sudah dimakbulkan.hajat yg terbesar buat diriku menanti ...aku mohon padamu ya tuhan...engko yg memahami hati ini...insya allah.kabulkan la doa hambamu ini..

d pretty thing about life

2011-11-27T12:50:00.001+08:00

Allah is great..and aku bersyukur terhadap apa saje yg aku hadapi...Kao yg dapat membaca isi hati kami masing2...betul?kebenaran hanya datang dariMu.apa yg ko ingin tunjukkan padaKu adalah pentunjuk utk diriku sebaik2nyer..yg tersembunyi itu adalah rahsiaMu...

alhamdulilah

2011-11-27T11:07:00.001+08:00

alhamdulilah...things has been good for him..meeting his old kakis ..syukur.dats all i wanted for him to be back w them...and it came true..so my december plan will shurely work out nw dat things are back in place...its jus how mch i need to settle this...let me stop missing him already..ya allah..jus stop d tears for today....

It's jus me ,time and maybe someone new

2011-11-26T18:21:00.001+08:00

I jus wana refocus myself....love...sumtyms hurts u more like hell...If i had a wish...my wish would jus be one....is to meet her.....I dun expect for people to understand what I'm going through...n if they cant respect that..its fine w me..cors the one dat is going through is me...no one noes why....bt it happened...again I would ask myself...bt why me?i wish someone would jus brainwash me and forget everything....everything.....Have I not done enough to protect?or was it because ppl jus dun care about me anymore that they do all these for me to see?why Ya Allah?ppl say there is hikmah di sebalik segala yg berlaku....klau hikmah nya adalah utk perbaiki diri masing2..insya allah I will try...Ya Tuhan jus let me pass by my days with truth......I seek my forgiveness first before i do a bad deed again..Please forgive me Ya Allah...please console this heart to be strong and stronger each day....I have these qoutes as a self reminder Usah didamba isteri secantik Balqis, jika diri tidak sehebat Sulaiman.Usah diharap isteri seteguh Siti Hajar, jika diri tidak seperti Ibrahim,Usah dicari suami sekacak Yusuf, jika cinta tidak setulus Siti Zulaikah,Usah dituntut isteri sebaik Siti Khadijah, jika diri tidak sesempurna Muhammad'Find a person who loves you for exactly who you are; bad mood, good mood, ugly, pretty, handsome..'' The right person is still gonna think that sun shines out of your ass''That's the kind of person that's worth sticking with''You dont marry someone you can live with, you marry the person who you cannot live without'' Remember that a successful marriage depends on two things : (1) Finding the right person (2) Being the right person'' To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little.To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all'But now...I dun even noe my direction in love..only towards HIM....syukur.dats d direction insya allah in time i will follow...

Wahai Sang Suria

2011-11-25T19:22:00.001+08:00

terbelinggu.subhanallah.cobaan mu ug thban amat betat bagi ku..let the days and let the heart. e restored w patience and peace...wake me up each day to be reminded of U instead.dun draw all d dreams of things that wld nvr happen..let d decision dat was made was d best...for me lead me to d right path...n provide me me strength to move forward uly allah..indun need d medication nor d therapy..d therapy is U. n i have faith in U..u noe what is my intention please make it smooth for me...

i noe it aint d time yet..

2011-11-25T14:29:00.001+08:00

i noe it aint d time.i noe i aint ready for anything relating to d opposite gender...i noe time heals all wounds...walking alone here and der has its benefits..feeling..i have to go thru this..walking here n der alone brings hurt.bt its ok.rather den being around ppl dat dun give a damn abt hw u feel...or respect.i dun blame them.they have eey rights to do or say whatever they want.d important one is me..hw i take in.those that truly care will respect u.those that dun care they dun.hey take advantage of u...n why? b ors they cant get wat they want...attention,lust...haiz..i dun need perfection..neither shld others ask for one...there's none..bt there's always room for improvement...if people bother they try,if they dun,no matter what u say,they wont...

My confession

2011-11-25T09:12:00.004+08:00

I have a confession to make...I've been talking about others...but yet about myself...what happened this whole year has been not soo goood for me....yet alot of thing swere learnt....right from the start...my rel has bee strained with lots of problems....we worried so much bout money issue yet th problm lies with the way we understand each other....both were too busy and both had so mnay things to do....

I told my girls...im gonna stop dancing fo now ad focuson the wedding...i have alot of thins in my hand and the only thing i didnt wana let go was this marriage....
In my perception of hi working at valet....i didnt like i der...cors tempat tk halal...but he has to do so much stayed up so late and he is always worried that we wont have enuf for ourselves....basically thinking that I m planning to take my degree as well and have kids...
We talked about kids....and in march he advised me dat it will be better whn we are both stable enough...I was not happy of coe corsi was thinking too much about myprime age....bt my fren advised me as well about having kids...soon i told myself yes this is sumthing i have to accept becors it ill deteoriate everything if we aint prepared.....so having kids at 28 and above was fine....we had plans for the house and he is afraid that he there's not enuf for us....

I didnt manage to look far into it.but i tod myself....we will plan this one at a time..settle the wedding stuff..den settle the house..of course money would be a big issue if he is under contract....I hope he gets his work soon....

As for me...senang cakap I wa greedy lah...SUMER nak...haha...what was i doing pun i duno....nk juggle everthing seems so positive and possible in the end everything was jus wasted....managing myself...was a big problem...i dun deny dat...malam tk bleh tido fikir pasal nayli...pasal keje,pasal kahwin....,pasal future.....i cldnt think straight....and furthermore what made it worse was for me to have some sort of feelings-(to make the story short) on my fren..we got closer cors we worked alot together...and he gave this remark....if i were single i would go for you...i was stunned...den becors of what he said i confessed to another man who is married to get a neutreul point of view of course he doesnt noe hw i felt...it was jus mindless conversations dat partly was due to me cofessing my feelings ..nevertheless my intention was to get opinions by neutral party....yet...it was seemed otherwise....I tok to dat fren of mine becors of the feelings...sometimes we mistook these feelings.....the reason why we both are attached in a way is becors of the choice we made for the simplest reason which is to spend the rest of our lives with the ones that we love...and importantly have faith....
And after I went to kursus rumah tangga...dat nyte...i cldnt sleep..was lookin thru wat i had done...and all i wanted was to make amends...
Little did i knew...sumthing else...he foudn out about the conversation....and thus all i did was cry....tried to eplain to him bt of course no one could have trusted you.....n no one would believe you...
I can understand dat....

In july ...the thougths of it came bt it didnt occur to me cors i was raelly damn busy and i thought he had brushed it off..thou i do wana tok things out w him....bt then..the rest is just history...jus a history.....i got too anxious of losing him...

I may not be d perfect girl with all the most upright values......bt i know i wont hurt you to dat extend..if i did in another way...i truly apologise..dat was to it...my problems n my feelings which had long gone cors it aint the true feelings..the truth was you..buried deep inside....

I may have assume...but once and twice is a chance....more than that it was a choice....

da friend of mine now has become one of my brothers...thank you bro....

why it all happened?no one could understand why.....but this whole experience teaches me alot of things....alot....and im learning it...one at a time....

I learn a nw word today; Philophobia means...fear of falling in love or being in love...n dats what im going through right now..I can only trust and love one for now....and dats all I need to get by my days....

a man should have a character of his own..for those who tried to be funny,sumtyms i jus wish i could punch u in the face to wake u up....get real...be real....bt all i cld do was to leave you alone....and i rather be alone rather than hearing sweet talks from u....if a girl dun response..truthfully the best is to leave her alone...and becors of these men..im philophobic!!...

It aint gonna be easy but all we hav to do is try to be a better person than yesterday...when we say we try...we use our heads and think of the consequences befre putting ourselves into the situation.....and open your heart nd mind to everything....only then we will have a better and clearer view of things.....

Insya Allah....

All i wana say...thank you for everything....

These everything has taught me alot of things....ok...time to go and have lunch...have a great weekend people....:)

Respect needs to be earned

2011-11-24T16:46:00.001+08:00

You know when those times you thought that ppl respect you for who you are..it doesnt goes for all...Respect needs to be earned..once a girl advise you to get lost cors she knows ur stand very well..you better do....Even if you are single....know ur limits as a man as man should be....Conversations are conversations bt always limit yrself....tk semestinya aku single.I would entertain u when i noe what's ur intention...i dun get touchy w others for stupid reasons...I can be ur fren yes...and i can share my opinions but that doesnt mean I agree w ur behaviour and even after telling you hw ur partners will feel and it doesnt work...the best is IGNORE....i have better things to do den to get myself involve unneccessary....If you are a true friend,you would talk about your feelings with me but at the same time understand that there is a limit to everything....klau ur intention is to get to know me better as a person...then Alhamdulilah....bt if you are attached..please keep ur distance. and only with that I will respect you more...cors u have faith in yourself n your partner.....n will pray for you n her to kekal hingg akhir hayat...People change..people should always change for the better..right? from there they will heal from there they will learn....always have time to reflect on ourselves....and how we make amends to the things in life....What we change....what we change should be because of our sincerity to make a difference not to pretend....what we change has to be because for the good cause....not for decorative purposes....and those who knows will know the difference between pretence and sincerity......I shared my view regarding my future plan with my gf...i tot i wana rope her in as well...bt i have this aura thinking that she prefers to stay where she is....i dun blame her...she is after all in love...and i cant force her....as much as i dun want this love to take a toll on her...i really nt sure how to pull her out of it....i jus hope one day Allah will lead her..as a friend I can be her listening ear....and kindly advises when she needs...True Love...I only have faith of True Love in You now...cors that true love comes from You...True love will guide us to the right path towards You...as much as this heart yearns to be loved and cared by another insan...the one that stays forever is Your Love....Your Love is eternity....Guide me to be patient...guide me to be make better decisions than before.....Everyday is a learning process....once I'm able to help myself...by all means I will help others as well....ProtectionProtection should comes from within....no one else can protect you if you cant protect yourself..We can rely on others only when we noe we need help from them...Handle your heart with care especially when you are a woman...Women tends to get very emotional when they are vulnerable...and when you are in a sticky situation...get out of it as quickly as possible....say your prayers and ask for forgiveness....let others say what they want about u and ur past....the only reason why you are still alive is the present and future....So many things to complete...I cant wait for the weekends...wana clean my whole house on saturday and keep myself occupied with make up stuff on Sunday...ouh no..i forgot sumthing...my posb card went hey wire today...gosh ...so pissed was trying to top up my ezlink but i cant....kaoz...tml must go posb lia

single but nt available...

2011-11-24T08:43:00.001+08:00

when u're single n nt available..its wen u learn hw to manage urself better in terms of spiritually,mentally,physically,emotionally...yes u tend to be more waras of the things surrounding u..of d ppl and who they are to u...bt one thing for sure d scar of d past remains...probably for nw.til sumone tries to open ur heart again...its nt easy bt its nt dat difficult either...depression was a state of mind dat women have d tendency nt to be able to cope sumtyms....bt after weeks of self therapy..cors my session w d art therapy always kena cancelled.lol...im proud to b here standing on my two feet.i stil need time definitely...bt mt as much as i used too before...cumer i have one hajat before 2011 ends...bt dat hajat ..i will keep it to myself ....there were times that i was doubtful...bt i told myself its a clear objective...i reaching school nw... gosh nari pey malas nk gi keje...malas giler sey.lol.nvm.one more day..n i think i need to buy new jeans nw..sumer longgar giler n best part ive lost 10 kg;)Nk ckp thanks to herbalife mmg herbalife was my survival kit...bt actually for me if im depressed ill lost alot of weight..tk pernah sampai bmyk mcm ni.tapi all i can say alhamdulilah herbalife saved me those times wen i cldnt even focus to eat anything...it was der to strengthen my diet...;).im in d toilet now finishing my last sentence of my blog.lol.sblum start keje....today til 3pm .cant wait for tml til 1pm!!.maybe gonna ask my brother out again for movies.wah naik lemak budak ni asyik tgk wayang jek..n his birthday is coming.kaoz!!need to plan sumthig nice

syukur alhamdulilah

2011-11-23T23:19:00.001+08:00

setiap perlaku kte ada sebab nyer...alhamdulilah watching phonebooth n suria di cordoba.i sana be like her..:)..insya allah..ive had a strange dream yetersay.a chinese man came into my dream n said he is my husband.kaoz!!lol..a few days before d supposed wedding eh?haha..ok..so many things happened at work today...bt i told mu collegue..klau ko ny involve jgn masuk campur n if unfeel ubare right jgn takut...betul right.;)...n i am nt perfect either..bt ill take all critics as a positive one for me to change...insya allah...;)..anyway..talkng abt nafsu kuching..nk kata kawan mmgla kawan.tapi tkkn sumer kawan nk menyondolkan?suka hati mak bapak dier jek.da 2 lelaki i noe perangai mcm gini.da nk kahwin kan?naper la ikutkn sgt?paling2 u can sleep on it.....n ignoranc is d best for these situations...kesian tunang korang...mungkin pada krg its nuthing.bt to them is sumthing..all rhese can becontrol and shld only he done w d one dat u truly love...

Really jus wat happened to us....

2011-11-23T18:51:00.000+08:00

Why all these have to happen?Im jus gg through the times that we had...im nt crying now...im jus pondering...what had gone really wrong for us...communication breakdown?my commitment?we jus didnt rectify our probs deep enough? i wasnt listening? what's d core...u noe too much of my ex stories?no common set of thinking?let'see...we joked,laughed,loved and proud of each other more than anyone else...we learn things from one another...abt drums,guitar,music and dance ....was there sumthing abt ur past dat i shld noe?i dun care about ur past was dat a problem?when u stepped into my life....we talked about...families....we dun spend much time w them true bt when we do...we make full use of it...so what is d core?spending time?too much? too little...too attached w one another that we take things for granted....what isit dat bothers u so much?why compile all d shit dat i had done and threw it at me like dat...who am i to you all these while?n our usual routines...we meet very frequently during our honeymoon period..definitely per....baru berkenalan....3-4 times a week....mcm like ders no tomorow...and we wished we cld spend more time.....beef fried rice,fried fish bee hoon...sambal udang(ur favourite),sushi ,makan besar ikan pari....n cockles....our favourite n signature dishes....Ice blended chocolate,milo and basket of fries n sheesha.jus d two of us...or w ur cuzzinsWatch movies jus us den w frenz as well...camping..swimming..playing taboo w ur frenz...bowling,prawning,quality time spent....birthday surprises.....bishan,pierce reservoir,weddings, slacking,driving....

maybe i should jus pu it up in my shoutout

2011-11-23T18:34:00.001+08:00

jahat sgt ke aku ni?isit this my blog?whatevrr i wana say about Ruzainah Hussainits all about women's logic thinking and mutual respect..of her as a woman..thanks for highlighting bt my true intention is jus expressing my thoughts here..i wont talk abt u cors u are really nt d bad person.i am.cors i talk abt ppl..mention names nw injus mention her...if its abt her den let me say sumthing I dun give a damn abt it..women has to learn to respect one another especially when u noe u have to go freaking away from everything?no woman shod make another one angry for stupid reason like love...feelings are feelings ...bt d brain does nt stop working when u are indulging urself in serious acts of TLCs.where's d respect babe..i had bt none for u...i wld have if u had came forward to see me..bt no...so too bad...sorry to say dat...u shod have known better ..of all People whom had gone thru...dats my only intention when i ask myself do ppl actually learn from their previous relationship?if they had gone thru so much pain den why terjun ke dlm mulut naga??aku mungkin tk kenal siapa sebenarnyer diri kao..aku tau n kenal kawan pompan dier yg lain ..tapi bukan ko...n i dun freaking need to know anything abt u...tk penting langsung.aper yg oenting derita yg ko da buat kat org lain.salah aper aku kat ko?kawan kawan arh aku tk kesah.tapi klau da tau dari mula aku siapa l..asal nk tunjuk ko nyer sayang yg melebih? tk munah sabar kan?aku pn ader kawan.tk sayang pn mcm gini....klau aku jahat nk mampus da lama aku g umah ko bilang mak bapak ko psl ko..nak mcm tu?n to trust u w ur words....da la aku no ckp panjang 2 pasal ko naik malas...n any comments at my blog if wana say jus say..im fine w everything....